“You were on your phone while I was talking.”
Your chest tightens. You start explaining how much you’ve been dealing with. A request for your attention becomes another argument about whether you’re doing enough.
You wanted closeness. Look where the conversation went.
In this live class, we’ll follow that moment from the first signal to the familiar response. Then I’ll demonstrate another way through it. You’ll use the same method to examine a pattern in your own life.
Free. Live on Zoom. Two hours.
Behavioral Reconstruction. A Free Two-Hour Class
You meant to listen. You started defending.
See the moment where you have a choice.
We’ll work through one example using the three phases of Behavioral Reconstruction.
Illumination: See what you’re doing.
Separate what happened from the meaning you gave it. Examine what your response protects and what it costs.
Interruption: Catch the familiar move.
Recognize an early signal, pause, and choose a specific response. I’ll demonstrate the same conversation twice so you can see the difference.
Installation: Give the new response somewhere to live.
Turn “I’ll be less defensive” into something you can actually practice. Learn how to return when you miss it, including halfway through a conversation.
Listening doesn’t require agreeing with every criticism. We’ll work with acknowledging what happened while keeping your ability to disagree.
Leave with one thing to practice.
You’ll have time to write:
One cue that tells you the pattern is starting.
One observable response you’ll practice.
A real situation where you’ll make your first attempt.
We’ll also cover how to record an attempt and catch yourself when you drift. The final ten minutes are for questions.
You can keep your work private.
Cameras and participation are optional. Your writing stays with you unless you choose to share it. Bring a manageable example from your life, paper, and a pen. No preparation is required.
Any recording of the teaching and demonstration will be explained before it begins, with consent requested. Private writing periods and Q&A are not recorded.
Your Instructor
I’m Travis Rutherford, a behavioral advisor based in Los Angeles. Twenty years in professional kitchens, five years leading men’s circles, and a lifetime of self-improvement have shaped how I observe behavior, ask questions, and help people practice a different response.
Reserve Your Spot
First Wednesday of every month
6–8 p.m. Pacific Time · Live on Zoom · Free
Leave your details below. I’ll email you the date, time, and Zoom link before we meet.